STRUGGLE BUS DRIVER: JORDAN
dude, it's called the friend zone
Guess who's back?
Tell a friend.
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...
Let's be honest for a second. If your mind doesn't immediately think of the Eminem song after hearing, "Guess who's back?" are we really friends? Just kidding! Of course we can still be friends, but we will definitely have to schedule an intervention night dedicated to music education. ;)
Speaking of friends, let me pose a question to you guys. Do you think that a man and a woman can have a truly platonic relationship?
For those of you who might not know what that means, if you Google platonic, the definition that pops up is: "(of love or friendship) intimate and affectionate, but not sexual." Basically that means the relationship is based off of something more powerful or more important than the possibility of anything physical happening between two individuals.
I've heard arguments both supporting and against platonic relationships and whether or not they are real or work. I'm not going to dive into those arguments today and I'm not here to tell you which side to believe. By all means have your own opinion (just remember to please keep this page respectful). What I am going to do today, is to share my experience and thoughts on platonic friendships because that's what I created this platform for right? :)
I've been in Washington for around four months now and other than my family, no one has come to visit. My friends can vouch for me that I always encourage them and anyone who mentions how awesome they think my new life adventure seems to come and explore with me! My door will always be open. This is absolutely a true statement too! I would love for people to stay with me and show them the things I enjoy about this new chapter in my life. It would be no bother to me to accommodate them and to make the trip more convenient (and cheaper) by offering my apartment as a place to stay. However, all the times that I've moved and all the places I've lived, outside of family, I've only ever had two friends take me up on this offer.
Well reader, I'm excited to inform you that a third friends has officially booked a trip and I will be welcoming them within the next month. However, what you might not expect is that my friend is a male and over 10 years older than myself. Quite an odd pairing for friends, I do agree. I have thought at times that it is kind of weird, but I'm not one to discriminate on a friendship just because of odd circumstances. He and I have shared interests, inside jokes, and he has made an effort to stay in contact after my most recent move. Now I don't know about you, but if that doesn't constitute as a friend then I don't know what does.
In trying to stay updated with many of the friends in my life, I have mentioned this visit as something that will be occurring. The responses are almost all the same, "Oh that's cool. Is there something between you two?" or something related to the fact that we will undoubtedly sleep together. I'm not proud to admit that this is highly irritating for me because my friends know the type of person I am, so why would they immediately jump to this assumption? Why do I have to justify my friendship with him as just that, a friendship? Is it impossible to believe that a guy and a girl might enjoy a platonic weekend to catch up, hangout, and just enjoy each others company?
If it were one of my girl friends coming to visit I wouldn't be dealing with this kind of scrutiny or feedback. The responses would be more catered to how we were going to spend our time or an update of how that person is doing in life. I wouldn't have to justify that we are in fact just friends and that while I do love them, no I do not wish to have sex with them. Why does the fact that my guest has a penis change everyone's perspective on what kind of visit it is going to be?
Through my life I've had many friends that are guys. Have they wanted to sleep with me? Honestly I don't know. but at the end of the day if it doesn't happen does it really matter? I don't know about you reader, but when I make a new guy friend I typically automatically put them in the friend zone. Not as a disrespect to them, but my mind doesn't work like that with the whole "you're a guy, I'm a girl, lets jump in bed" mindset that our society likes push on people.
Unless this person has the courage to tell me something about their intentions that differ from the conclusion that I've made in my mind, this person stays in the friend zone. And you know what? Guys in the friend zone tend to respect the hell out of the women they are friends with. There is a mutual respect from both parties that is not sexually based creating a truly beautiful friendship.
Also, when you hear that someone has been put in the friend zone you automatically think it's a negative situation right? Well contrary to popular belief, I have experienced it to be such a positive thing. I mean just think about it, if you are to truly have a sincere platonic relationship, those guys have put you in the friend zone too. They aren't going to try anything stupid with you because you have both established that standard level of respect coupled with a lack of expectations. Tell me how it can be a bad thing when you both know your friendship is truly based in just being that person's friend?
Reader I can 100% guarantee to you that this is the kind of relationship that I have with the friend that is coming to visit. I know this, he knows this. At the end of the day that's all that really matters, and yet I still felt obligated to justify it in this blog.
The next time you see two people of opposite sexes together who say they are just friends, don't think twice about it. Take them at their word. Unless someone is getting harmed out the exchange just let people live their lives and quit making assumptions. They absolutely make an ass out of you, but you have no right to make an ass out of me because of how you think I should or will be living my life.
Alright reader, I'll get off my soapbox now. As always thank you for making it through yet another glimpse into my mind. Hopefully I haven't frightened you off yet. As always, try to make someone smile today and let's gear up to kick this week's butt! :) Until next time!
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A millennial with a need for an outlet. I write about whatever is inspiring me in the moment.