Reader! If you are from the US, I hope you had a great, wonderful, and safe Thanksgiving. If you are reading this and you are not American I still hope you have been doing swell and thank you for being here and listening to my blog rants. I truly don't know if anyone does read this because I haven't really told many people about it. I like to view this blog truly as an outlet, so in a way, I don't want to know because then it keeps what I write authentic, genuine, and truly for me. Regardless, if you take time out of your day to read this, thank you! I hope it provides something for you like it does for me. 
If you have been following along reader, you know that I've recently been talking about making changes to live my best life. I'm stuck at home because of my ankle injury and I'm attempting for fulfill my time with more positive outlets. While these are great first steps in building consistency and positivity, the only way to inspire real change is to develop goals. A person needs something tangible to work towards for legitimate growth to happen.
The past few days, I had been thinking hard about what exactly I want to accomplish and what habits I want to build. One particular night, I was either dreaming or my stream of consciousness wouldn't let me sleep because I started a note in my phone of things I wanted to do in the upcoming year. After getting sleep and going back into this note, I realized that I could break down my goals into stuff I wanted to accomplish each day, week, month, and for the year. I took this information and broke it down into four lists. I then wanted the lists for each category to be the same length, so I brainstormed (sometimes with the help of my trusty friend  Pinterest) 10 goals to work towards in each grouping. 
I'm using this post (as you may have guessed) to share the goals I have set for myself in hopes that it will help keep me on track, to make this commitment real, and to possibly inspire someone to set goals for themselves.  So, without further ado, here are my 2021 goals:

 DAILY GOALS
1. Exercise for a minimum of 15-30 minutes.
2. Journal and/or blog.
3. Identify at least 3 things I'm grateful for.
4. Say a minimum of 5 positive affirmations.
5. Spend less than 1 hour on social media (specifically Facebook and Instagram)
6. Clean for a minimum of 10 minutes. 
7. Make my bed.
8. Give someone a compliment.
9. Walk a minimum of 10,000 steps.
10. Drink a minimum of 60 oz. of water.

WEEKLY GOALS
1.  3-5 Cardio workouts.
2. 3-5 Strength training workouts.
3. 3 Yoga sessions.
4. 1-2 'Me' Nights.
5. 5-7 Days of Meditation
6. Write a letter.
7. Read a minimum of 3 chapters. 
8. At least 1 self-care activity.
9. Bringing a lunch from home for 4 out of 5 workdays.
10. Laundry including putting it away.

MONTHLY GOALS
1. Plan 1 social outing/activity.
2. Save $60 each paycheck (2 per month).
3. Recap the positive things that happened during the month.
4. A minimum of 3 blog posts.
5. Read at least 1 book.
6. Call at least 1 long distance friend.
7. Host friends for dinner.
8. Organize 1 room in my house. 
9. Try 1 new recipe.
10. Buy 1 life improving object.

2021 YEAR GOALS
1. Explore 10 new hiking trails.
2. Visit 5 new cities.
3. Play softball again.
4. Run 2 miles under 20 minutes.
5. Sign up for 1 college class.
6. Participate in Bloomsday (an annual race in my area).
7. Read 20 books.
8. Go on 1 fun 'for me' trip (without any other purpose).
9. Volunteer.
10. Have more good days than bad.

What do you think reader? :) Do you think these are achievable? Do you think I'll be able to accomplish all of this?

To help keep me on track, I've ordered a white board which I will write all of these goals on. I will add check boxes on them and track them accordingly. At the end of each month, I will take a picture of the board to see how I've progressed. I've also purchased a monthly whiteboard calendar to help track my accomplishments, as well as, schedule my adventures in a timely fashion. 
I honestly feel really at peace, confident, determined, and calm by making these plans. It feels good to have guidance. I've always hated questions about the future because I never knew what I wanted. This gives me things to work towards. I feel like I included a fair amount of balance between achievable and challenging. I don't initiate, but the goals I've made will force me out of that comfort zone if I wish to achieve them. The goals I selected are also meant to help build healthy habits and to maintain structure in an everchanging world. Do I expect to always check everything off my list? No. Do I not expect life to throw a wrench in my plans here or there? No, I fully do. However, I am placing my bets on me and taking control of my decisions so as to make the best choices to make things happen. 
Thanks again reader (if you're there) for being my sounding board. I look forward to getting started with these goals and will try to implement them into my life as I can in the following month before the new year begins. I hope, as always that this post inspires positivity and maybe gives you ideas for things you can commit to, to become your own best self. Much appreciation reader and make someone smile today.
Until next time!

​Jordan 

Hey, hey, hey there reader. I'm baaaccck! Is it sooner or later than when you thought you'd see me again? It is a little sooner than I thought it would be if that makes you feel better. What brings me back to this lovely forum so soon is the fact that my personal favorite holiday is coming up and I think it is important to take any/every opportunity to you can to identify what you are grateful for. 
To address the first part of that last statement, yes reader THANKSGIVING is my favorite holiday. Not Christmas. Not Halloween. Thanksgiving. I am also one of those people who loathes when others jump the gun and celebrate Christmas the instant November hits. So if you are one of those Christmas lovers well, I can say that your decision to celebrate holidays non-chronologically annoys the f*** out of me, there is nothing I can do about what you do in your own home and if it makes you happy, you gotta do you.
The second half of that statement speaks to the benefits of gratitude and identifying what we are thankful for. I may or may not have mentioned before I work in mental health. That being said, the emotional and mental benefits of displaying gratitude are plentiful. Enhancing empathy, decreasing aggression, better sleep, improved self-esteem, healthier relationships, reducing stress, and increasing resiliency just to name a few.  To regularly identify things we are thankful for can build a basis of positivity for one's life and produce long-lasting benefits to one's overall health. For more information on this topic, please follow the following links to articles backing the science of gratitude. 

positivepsychology.com/benefits-gratitude-research-questions/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain

If you decided to ​further educate yourself then welcome back, and if you couldn't care less about the legitimacy of 

Welcome back reader! I meant to write earlier in the week, but the important thing is I'm making it happen at all. I hope that you've been relishing in the new year and doing what you can to better yourself and others. Naturally, one would think that with the New Year that I would write about New Years resolutions or the goals I have for 2020, however, I have a more pressing topic that I would like to address (not to mention I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but again...another post).
To start our post today, I would like to do some imagery with you reader. I'm going to describe as scene and as I begin to write, I want you to picture yourself in that scenario.
You've made the decision to eat healthier. You've been going strong for two weeks on rice, veggies, chicken, humus, and increasing your water intake. Lately you've been having a craving for some salty goodness. Salted nuts (keep it clean ya pervs ;) ) are the best bet for you to stay strong on your diet, however, you severely miss the crunch and flavor that a chip can provide. Each day that passes, your will weakens, but you're determined. You wouldn't buy it for yourself and you stay away from that aisle in the grocery store (despite looking back longingly as you walk away). 
Your friend is having a party. It's the Super Bowl and you're all going to watch the game together. You've offered to bring the veggie tray because ya know, the diet. The day comes and there is a plethora of negative caloric temptations. The biggest of which to you is the chips and dip. You struggle for the first hour convincing yourself that you don't need it and you've made it this far. Your willpower must be stronger than that right? 
After a couple of hard seltzers (you're trying to be healthy after all) you start to salivate at the thought of that sour cream and onion crispness that a chip can provide. You resign yourself to break your diet on the promise to yourself that it's just one chip. One chip isn't going to break your diet. 
You take that first bite and the satisfying crunch and mouthwatering seasoning send the serotonin pulsating throughout your brain. You're having a food high. You're incredibly happy with yourself and you walk away steeling yourself to that promise of one chip. However, less than five minutes later, you find yourself back at the table grabbing a handful of chips to put on your plate. You convince yourself that it will be the only indulgence you have and that after the pile is done you're done. 
Once again, you find yourself heading back to the food table for some broccoli, carrots, ranch, and....you guessed it, more chips. You attempt to validate your decision by telling yourself the vegetables cancel out your chip consumption and you'll go back to being good tomorrow.
Does this sound like a familiar situation reader? Have you found yourself succumbing to the tantalizing cravings of your brain and stomach?  Whether or not you like chips, I'm sure you can equate this situation to some dubious addiction in your own lives.  What I've come to realize in my own life is that my mind is the bag and negativity seems to be my chip. 
Now reader, I can only hope that when you read that you either can A) agree with me or B) empathize with me. Either way I'll try to explain how I came to this analogy and how I'm trying to stay on my 'diet'.
The most recent example of this situation happened earlier this week. I had sent out a snapchat of my roommate and I's cats playfully fighting. The caption I added along to the snap was something to the effect of "and this is what I come home to *roll eyes emoji*. 
One of my friends responded to this snap, stating I was overreacting and that's what cats do. I attempted to explain that I intended the snap as a joke and that I was just fed up with them fighting because I had to separate them about five minutes prior to the snap to protect my cat (she's about three months old and although the play fighting is fine, the older cat likes to get a little aggressive still). 
My friend responded stating that I was overreacting and that one day I would be such a helicopter parent, and how she was just going to tell her kids to rub some dirt in it if things like that happened. Now, I was highly offended by this remark. Some background information as to why a comment like this would be so upsetting to me is 1. I've never envisioned my life not being a mom 2. I consider myself to be very good with kids 3. I truly believe that I'll be a good parent with healthy boundaries and nothing like the helicopter parents you constantly see these days. I was also highly offended because I honestly was just trying to send the snap as a joke and it felt like my friend was completely blowing it out of proportion. 
I became immediately angered and responded as such...and then I began to dwell on the negativity. Once I reached my hand into the bag for one 'chip', I couldn't stop. It was one negative thought after the other until my entire aura for the day had changed. I started thinking about how offended I was that she would directly insult something that I hold myself to a core and high standard for myself. I started thinking about how she always blows stuff like this out of proportion. How when she has a belief that is so strong that is contradicting or different to yours she just brushes it off, but then continues to judge you in silence (even if the issues been 'resolved'). I resented the fact that I continually feel like she looks down on me and feels like she has to coddle me because I'm not in a healthy state of mind and I haven't been for a while and she doesn't understand it. Needless to say reader, I was going down a dark thoughts black hole. 
This is just one example of what I continually find myself in on a daily basis. An event occurs and you think one negative thought after the other until you've 'finished the bag' and feel awful about yourself for getting to the point of no return. 
One question I've been asking myself lately is, WHY DO I ALLOW MYSELF TO DO THIS!? Why can't I just bounce back? Why do I take things so personally and just go down the spiral of dark thoughts and get defensive and then hurt the people I care about with my impulsive retaliation? Why can't I feel like me again?
Reader, I am no where near having the answer to all of those questions. What I can tell you is that awareness is the first step to recovery. I've been making an effort to recognize when I'm starting to 'stick my hand in to grab a handful of chips' with the hopes that by becoming more aware of when it happens I can start to plan and make decisions about what I can do to halt it in its tracks. Right now I can confirm that I've got a hell of a long way to go with this, but this is something that I need to do before I burn bridges with the people I care about and before I burn the bridge with myself. 
For now, I appreciate you (if there are in fact any of you out there) allowing for this opportunity to vent and get it off my chest. By putting it on here, I'm putting it out into the universe and making it a real thing so that I'm more accountable for making it happen. Thank you as always for being my sounding board and I look forward to the future endeavors we will tackle in 2020. 
Happy New Year Reader and don't forget to make someone smile today! :)
Until next time!

-Jordan

Well hello there readers. It has been quite some time hasn't it. I am truly sorry that I've been away this long. This isn't what I intended out of this at all. I have to say that quite a bit has happened in the time that I've been gone, but I'll start with why it took so long to get here.
Last year, I dedicated myself to blogging once a week.  After making that vow I had an unfortunate incident where I had a roommate move into the place I was living and during the process of the move I lost my charger to the laptop that I owned. My laptop also took a dive in the sense that it was literally falling apart. At this point I deemed it unsalvageable and took the L as they say.
After the untimely death of my laptop, I did attempt to write a post from my phone. That post was successful, however, at what cost. There was a malfunction when I was adding content to the blog from my phone which caused all the videos I had previously uploaded to be deleted. 

Don't think that I've forgotten about this. When I came back to the site today I had four saved drafts that I had to delete because they were no longer relevant to my life or what I wanted to say. I haven't forgotten per say, but I have absolutely neglected this page. There have been so many times where I got excited to write something or I had a bad day and this would have been a fantastic outlet to utilize, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it...I didn't have the ability to bring myself to engage in this endeavor. I didn't hold myself accountable.
I'm not sure about you reader, but throughout my adult life I have struggled with this issues of accountability. Whether it be starting an exercise regimen, eating healthy, staying in touch with friends. I'm usually on top of everything for a month or two...and then I slip up. Something happens that keeps me from accomplishing what I've told myself that I'm going to do. In turn that makes it so much easier to say "No" or talk myself out of it again and again until I'm so far off track that the goal I set seems like a distant memory rather than something attainable. 
Why is it that I let myself down so easily? Why do I allow myself to give up? Why does the little voice in my head convincing me I'm too tired, not good enough, not worth it win? Why CAN'T I be good enough?
I've struggled with this issue time and time again. You see this motivation thing is a vicious cycle and game that I play with myself. No matter how many times I give up, I eventually get to a point where I pull myself up by my bootstraps and say, "you're done throwing a pity party for yourself. If you want there to be changes in your life you have to make them." Subsequently, after being on track for a while, the doubt seed is planted in my head and I eventually tell myself a different story that keeps me from achieving what I've set out to do. 
The question I've been asking myself lately is, why do I allow myself to fail? To be honest, there is no simple answer I can come up with. There is no magic potion I can drink, no fairy godmother to come Grant my wishes. However, maybe the question shouldn't be how do I stop myself from failing, but how do I make sure I succeed . By a simple rephrasing of the question, my mindset immediately spins with the buzz of possibilities. 
If you look at the most successful people in the world and study their lifestyles there are a few things that you are sure to notice. 1. They are consistent. 2. They have developed a set of healthy habits which they adhere to every day. 
Knowing this, I wanted to create a challenge for myself to be accountable, develop healthy habits, and to give me a baseline of positivity before I tackle any of the long term goals that I have in mind for myself. Starting tomorrow, Sunday April 14th 2019, I will challenge myself to a series of tasks to assist I  building a foundation of health and commitment. I have a white board that I will be turning into a checklist so that each day I can mark off tasks as I complete them. Some of the tasks I have selected may seem mundane and simple, but my goal at the moment is to just build that layer of accountability. 
Jordan's daily tasks for accountability:
1. Brush my teeth 2x/day and floss 1x/day
2. Wash my face 2x/day
3. Verbalize 10 positive affirmations
4. Make my bed
5. Engage in a minimum of 10 minutes of stretching
6. Engage in a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity (outside of work)
7. Reach out to at least 1 friend/person
8. Read at least 10 pages in a book
9. Drink at least 3 water bottles (I have a 32 oz water bottle)
10. Be off my phone after 9:30 PM
11. Blog once a week
As you can see, I'm not trying to do anything extraordinary. Afterall, Rome wasn't built in a day. I believe that these are all highly attainable things to accomplish in a day and a good place to start. I will have a spot on my board that allows me to write in the number of days in a row that I've accomplished my goals and report back to you on my level of accomplishment in 1-2 months. 
It feels great to be back and I hope that you reader haven't given up on me yet! As always I'm going to ask that you make someone smile today and challenge/ask you to think about your own routines and what you might be able to positively contribute to your lifestyle. Until next time,

-Jordan

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone said something and it just kind of sparked this random thought train in your mind? You go around curves and bends of spontaneous words and random connections until you end up at a point where you regain the conversation and kind of have no idea how you got to that point? That my friends, is stream of consciousness. Throughout my life, I've found myself in situations where my stream of consciousness does not align with the individuals I'm interacting with and therefore confusion, hilarity, and just general awkwardness has ensued. 
Recently, I've learned of a journaling technique where for a period of time you write down everything that comes to your mind. This provides a unique experience where you actually track your own stream of consciousness. I found this idea highly intriguing and what better place to experiment than on a platform where I already share my thoughts. 
A few things before I start. Of course my typing speed cannot accurately keep up with my thoughts, but I will do my best! I will not be editing or censoring my thoughts so this is your fair warning that you may read something you didn't want to (if you are a grammar Nazi...you may just want to turn back now). Also, I do listen to music when I blog, so also forewarning that there may be a few random song lyrics thrown in there. I'm not sure the best way to record these thoughts, but I will try bullet points and see how ti goes. Ready for this ride? (I'm not sure I am!) 

• 90s country is the best country
• Tim McGraw aged well
• "Every  night be tucked in close to youuuuu
• Is sleeping in bed with another person for the rest of your life really enjoyable?
• do you ever get used to it? 
• Do you wish you had the bed to yourself?
• I have a specific way of sleeping, what if I find someone who isn't compatible with that?
• Hum hum hum hum hum hum hum hum
• Man the Steelers really kicked the Panthers ass
• This game was kind of sad...
• Like the Packers season...ugh I miss Jordy Nelson
• This ain't a scene its a God damn arms race!
• Singing*****
• Oh trivia crack notification! Lets play!
• It really builds anxiety in my chest that the questions are timed
• Is it sad that I feel like I get just as competitive over winning trivia crack as I would a softball or basketball game?
• I want to be smart! 
• I'm good at some categories and then others I just suck and then there are the questions where you read it wrong and the answer is obvious after you get it wrong...ugh that is so damn aggravating
• DAMNN IT BRADLEY WHY DID YOU PUT SPONGEBOB  SONGS ON OUR ITUNES ACCOUNT!
• Speaking of broseph, I wonder how hes doing
• He came to me with the sweetest smile...I am lost boy from Neverland
• Oh it's kind of chilly in my apartment...I need to clean. Like clean clean. Like the clean where you would do if your mother was visiting. 
• I need to pack...Why do I always wait until the night before to pack for trip destinations?
• I perform better under pressure sometimes
• Gotta watch my spending these next few days
• Why are IDs and drivers license different prices in different states
• there should be a universal price
• That guy was really amusing and nice though, great customer service!
• the world would be really much better if there were more people like that! I appreciate him
• Usually hanging out with Peter Pan...
• Sometimes I feel like a lost boy
• I feel like I'll never find a place that I can settle down and call home
• lots of anxiety over where I'm at in my life and the things I want to accomplish
• BRADLEY WHY WERE YOU OBSESSED WITH THE BLACK EYED PEAS
• they had some good songs, but that was not one of them
• next song reminds me of road trips with Allie
• Singing* You know I'd fight for you but how can I fight for someone who isn't even there
• CAUSE I WANT IT ALLLLL OR NOTHING AT ALLLL
  
• Was this song written about ghosting before it became a thing?
• I want it all, or nothing
• giving it all is such a frightening concept
• can you actually give someone your all?
• Song
• Thoughts scan through all past potential relationships...where did I go wrong
• Breathe
• things happen for a reason
• but what If I really did screw up and now I'll never be together
• The climax of this song is fantastic! 
• Snapchat! 
• of friend is doing a mask
• i liked my charcoal mask, I want to do that again
• it was so gross, sucked all the gunk from my pores and it was fantastic
• grossly satisfying and I am here for it
• Masks are the best! 
• oh damn the camera focused on my face real quick, I have such a large forehead...why is the filter focusing the eyebrows on my cheeks. that's the third time this week. Maybe I have a ghost. This post is going to be really long if I keep going with the dot list. I should switch to paragraph form. When do I start a new paragraph? Will this be more difficult to follow I want to see you again, but I'm stuck in Colder weather. It's been cold here...I don't know what I'm getting myself into with winter again. Should I sipped my tires. I have no idea if that is the right way to say that...I don't want to buy snow tires. Ugh winter. I miss fall already. I did not take proper advantage of winter. I wonder how many steps I got today. Holy jesus I need to be more active. damn meetings, I'm not even halfway to my goal.Oh goals...I really need better motivation. Why can't I motivate myself. Snapchat. Ugh I think I'm really funny sometimes I should have set a timer, how long am I supposed to go. I have to pee, but peeing is such a hassle when you're a girl! Penis envy. The only time I have it is when I pee. Wouldn't it just be nice to just whip it out and just go wherever whenever you need to. Also want to have the ability to write my name in the snow. THE STRUGGLE! Sometimes I feel like people use any excuse to flash their engagement rings....but she is my friend and I love her and am happy for her! still a little cynical. Or probably jealous...maybe both. I'm a horrible person. 
• damn it I really do have to pee. I should probably stop this. How much water did I drink today? Why do I have to pee so bad? 
• So baby give me that toot toot
• I'ts the freaking weekend baby I'm about to having some fun
• Ugh I hate when people don't respond...it makes me feel awkward and yet there is nothing I can do about it. Okay, I'm going to stop now,,.take a break and we will reconvene in 5

Okay reader, I'm back...that was quite an odd experience. I don't feel like I truly got out of that what I wanted to because I was having so many thoughts other than the ones that I was able to write down, but I don't type fast enough. I also feel like the rational part of my brain didn't always make this truly stream of consciousness because I had to select which thoughts to add (yet sometimes my fingers did just follow my immediate thoughts so some of the ones up there are truly just a reaction). Maybe This would be better if I recorded myself and just let the thoughts flow naturally. That way it is in real time and there is truly more genuine and in the moment. 
I'm having mixed emotions about this experiment of mine. I hope that on some level you either enjoyed it or related to it. Thanks for participating and getting this far. I promise to be more structured next time. Make sure you go out and make someone smile today! With all the chaos with the elections I'm sure there are several people who need it! Until next time reader. :)
​-Jordan

Salutations reader! Why don't more people use the word salutations as a greeting? It makes me slightly disheartened to think that society has digressed to the point where the eloquence of the English language is sometimes lost due to our overwhelming desire for simplicity. Then again, with our attentions spans shortening and words such as 'totes' and 'obvi' being adopted one has to wonder if it's integrity will be preserved at all. Regardless, I hope reader that you don't mind my wordy tendencies.
What an odd thing to put so much thought into huh? Well, I guess that is  one of the funny things in life, we decided where we put our attention and energy into. Lucky you get to experience so of my attention. If you've been keeping up with my posts, you know that I have a habit of allowing the negativity to come to the forefront of my mind and rob my ability to enjoy the present. Honestly this is probably one of my worst emotional habits. However, I am making a conscious effort to combat my own brain by forcing myself to do and/or focus on things that I do enjoy.
When I talk about this kind of re-framing of thoughts with my patients I like to reference the law of attraction. The just of the law of attraction is that what type of energy we put out and the way in which we frame our thoughts (positively or negatively) is what experience in our lives. For example, if you have a negative mindset, continually degrade yourself with cynical comments, and have a pessimistic outlook on life then that is the type of life you are creating for yourself. Conversely, if you have an optimistic outlook, engage in positive self talk, and maintain an uplifting mindset then those are the type of experiences that you will speak into existence. Being aware of and teaching this model, I would be a horrible hypocrite if I didn't put it into practice in my own life. For the post today, I'm going to provide a list of 10 things that I do which assist in creating that positive head space. Hopefully this gets you thinking about your own life and whether where you focus your thoughts and energy is actually beneficial.
Jordan's 10 Positive Areas Of Focus
1. Exercise/Sports: I feel like I am most in my element when I am engaged in some type of physical activity. Not only does it have obviously health benefits for my body, but it does wonders for easing my emotional mind as well. 
2. Helping others: This one probably sounds a little cliche, but I find true happiness in being able to assist others. Whether that be providing them a sounding board, playing devils advocate, or being their source of support, I truly enjoy being able to be there for others. 
3. Coloring: Yes, I realize that I am an adult, but coloring is such a mindless activity that it really does help distract my thoughts. Also, they make adult coloring books for a reason! I mean you don't see a two year old coloring an abstract display of the F word (...or I mean I hope you wouldn't). 
4. Writing letters and/or staying in contact with friends: I may be a little old fashioned, but I LOVE writing letters to people. It is such a sentimental gesture that not many people take the time to do these days and that's when you know it means something. However, thanks to technology there are also other wonderful ways in which I can stay in touch with the friends I've made over the years. Snapchat, texting, Facebook, Instagram, Skype, you name it, I've probably used. Also, on a side note, if any of you would like to become pen pals let me know! :)
5. The great outdoors: Getting outside in the open space and fresh air is severely underrated. There is just something so great about appreciating the earth and submerging yourself into nature that seems to suck all the trivial issues out of my body. Take me on a hike, walk, run, sunset/sunrise watch, or star gazing adventure any day!
6. Being with friends and/or family: While I have introvert tendencies, inherently I love being around others. I'm at my best when I am around people who I can truly let go and be my weird, awkward, goofy self. We don't even have to necessarily be doing anything. There is something truly special about being comfortable doing nothing with someone and just enjoying their presence. Also, I'm less likely to slip into a negative thought slide if I'm in the presence of others. 
7. Working with kiddos: For those of you who might not know, my initial desire was to become a teacher. There is just something about the potential that children posses that has always captivated me. Their innocent minds are unclouded by hate or bias and they truly look at the world with wonder. Spending time with a child is never time wasted and it always reminds me to not take life so seriously.
8. Give me all the animals: I don't care if you're a dog or a cat person. I think we can all agree that animals have this way of connecting with us that other humans just can't. That unconditional love and trust in us just fills the heart with joy. Unfortunately I do not have a pet of my own in Washington, but fortunately I have friends that allow me to be the auntie to their love muffins. 
9. Dance to the music: Do you ever just hear a song that speaks straight to your soul? There isn't a day that goes by that I don't listen to music. Music has the ability to influence our emotions and being the emotional individual that I am, I LOVE IT! Annnd because of the weirdo I am, I've been known to have solo dance parties in my apartment. Life is too short not to enjoy moments like that! (In case my Washington neighbor ever reads this. Sir, I thoroughly enjoy your jamming out to Disney music in the morning. I don't even care that I can hear it through the wall because it just makes my day every morning that I hear it. You're awesome. Keep doing you!)
10. Journal and/or blogging: Well looky here reader, I've somewhat accomplished what I intended to by creating this blog. It honestly has been a great outlet for when I don't feel comfortable and/or don't want to talk to someone. I've realized that I've been a lot more open and vulnerable on here than I think I intended. This has made me very hesitant to share the blog with people and as of today I think I have maybe reached double digits for people that I've personally told about it. It's not that I have anything to hide or that I'm ashamed, but as I've mentioned before, it has been difficult for me to open myself up to that type of vulnerability. So if you are reading this I 1. must trust you 2. Told you in hopes that you gain a better understanding of me as an individual 3. Want to use this as a venue for keeping you updated with my life that is based off of your time availability in your life. or 4. I don't know how you're here, but thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this.  
Welp, there you have it folks. At least 10 things that I try to do that automatically put me in a good mood. While I am aware of these things, I cannot say that I always follow through with using them. Sometimes I fall into the social media trap. Other times I let my overactive mind create ludicrous scenarios and convince myself to believe in false truths. Occasionally my motivation and drive just flat out sucks. Despite having these moments of 'gloom and doom,' I'm really trying to start practicing what I preach. There are only so many pity parties one can throw themselves in a lifetime after all. 
What I would like you to do now reader, is identify at least three-five things that you do which help put you in a good mood. Think about when you do these things and consider using them to your advantage. If something irritating happens at work, chose one to engage in and see how it impacts your day. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, but the second step involves brainstorming a plan.
Thanks for making it through yet another one of my random thought rants. I hope that you all took some time to think about those things/people that you're grateful for (and shared it with that person) this past week. If you had, I'm sure you would have fulfilled my regular request of making someone smile. :) If you haven't, I strongly encourage you to do so! I hope you know that I appreciate you! It has taken a lot for me to be able to share this with others so thank you for being one of the people I felt like I could do that with. Until next time!
​-Jordan

What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you said you were grateful for today? What would you have? Would they be monetary items? Survival items? Sentimental items? Comfort items? People? Everything? Nothing?
I saw this question posted on social media the other day and it made me pause for a second. How many days in my life do I go through without recognizing at least one thing that I'm grateful for? What kind of selfish life am I living? When did I become one of my most hated personality traits...entitled. Since then I've really made the attempt to consciously recognize at least one thing each day that I am grateful for.  
As a recreation therapist, gratitude is a phenomenal coping skill that I try to teach my patients. It is a skill that I forget to use myself and while talking to a friend about this whole blog experience, he decided to issue me a challenge. He provided me the option to practice what I preach and write a post with gratitude as the primary focus. 
Before I get into sharing my gratitude, I want everyone to understand why you too should take on the challenge of inviting gratitude into your daily lives. First of all, by expressing gratitude, we decrease our negative emotions (resentment, depression, envy) and increase positive emotions (empathy, happiness, connectivity). Not only psychologically, but physically our body responds positively to gratitude as well. We release tension, decrease blood pressure, and decrease the negative stress hormones in our body. With benefits like that our body has a natural tendency to improve sleep patterns and we actually end up improving our own self-image/self-esteem through this gratitude process. In my opinion, the most important improvement that expressing gratitude can have is an overall enhancement of one's well-being. Needless to say, there really is no downside to adding a gratitude exercise to your daily routine.
How I've decided to tackle my challenge today is I've created a list of 10 people. In a couple of sentences, I'm going to express my appreciation for this person while also providing a glimpse into the type of life lesson they've helped teach me. This list won't even breach the actual number of people who have profoundly impacted my life, but unfortunately I do have to sleep and this post can't last forever. I'll make you a deal to do a post like this again!
Annnnd just to make it a little fun, I'll give you a game. Guess the number it will take me to get to before I cry and once I've completed the list, I'll let you know. So place your bets now and may the odds be ever in your favor. ;)
In no particular order, here we go!
Jordan's "Hey, I See You" List of Appreciated Individuals:

1. Mom-You have been the role model and supporter of my life. Never have you hesitated to let me explore and allowed me to do things my way. I know throughout the years, I've challenged you in ways that I don't even understand, but you have always showed your love and support. There are very few things that I would change about my childhood and I hope you know that you continue to set the standard that I would love to emulate with my children one day. I hope you know I love you and how much I truly appreciate every single thing you've done for me. Thank you.
2. Dad-Well, one thing that's for sure is that I inherited your emotionability (that's not a word, but I'm making it one). You care so much and you put your heart and soul into everything and I love you for it. You are the reason I have the love of sports that I do and I can't even put into words how much I appreciate your dedication to and support whether it be coaching my little league team, endless hours of helping me practice, or taking me to my games and being in the stands. When we succeed, you triumphed. When we experienced failure, you felt our pain. You are one of the quirkiest, personable, fun-loving, dedicated people I know and every time I realize I pick up one of your oddities I become the proud one. Thank you.
3. Allie-Oh lady, have we ever butted heads. You are the only person that can turn me into a crazy, angry psycho and yet still kill me with laughter by sending me a random video or meme. I've had you to look up to my entire life and let's just say you set the bar pretty damn high. You excel at everything you set your mind to and I love it when you let yourself be crazy and weird and free. I know we've had our impasses and it kills me every time I sit down to think about how our relationship could be different if I could take some things back. Regardless, I do love you and hope you know I will always have your back. Thank you.
4.  Bradley-BROSEPH! I know when you were little I was kind of a dick to you and go out of my way to purposefully embarrass you, but never have I not love you. Honestly, I feel pretty protective of you and if any girl has the audacity to break your heart, I wouldn't put it past me to break her face. You are such an intelligent person, I just know that you've got big and amazing things headed your way in this lifetime. If it ever seemed like I was trying to parent you, I am sorry. You just have so much potential that I don't know if you always see it. You constantly make a big sister proud, but maybe respond to my snapchats once in a while. Never doubt yourself and always know that I believe in you. Thank you.
5.  Grandma-If there is a woman that deserves your respect, it is my grandma. She is 80+ years old and still driving a tractor in the fields at harvest time. Talk about a bad-ass. Not only is she an incredibly hard worker, but she is one of the most supportive people you will ever meet in your life. From basketball to band, from show choir, to softball, she is a face that you can always count on being in the stands. The best part is that she did this with all of her grandchildren. She is a selfless, no-nonsense type of woman and she has taught me one of the best lessons in life. The sun will always come out tomorrow and I will always love and appreciate this woman for all that she does. Thank you.
6. Deanna-You have always made a point to stay updated with my life. Throughout my childhood you've been a constant show of support and I've always appreciated having you in my life. I have witnessed your and my mom's relationship through the years and if there is one thing it's taught me is that you don't need to see each other every day to know that you'll always be there for those you love. Your wit and sarcasm keep things light and I promise to never try to feed you sour things ever again. I am very grateful for the role you've played in my life and I will do my best to be better at staying in touch. Thank you.
7. Sam-Friend! You accepted me from day one. Our story is just so awesome and ridiculous that I smile just thinking about. Who else on the first night of meeting someone stays up till 4 in the morning talking about random things. You have always been a no bullshit supporter, even if you didn't agree with my decisions. I love how we are 100% comfortable with each other, no topics of discussion are off the table, and whenever anything serious happens in our lives the other person is one of the first people to know. Watching you progress through life has been an honor and a privilege. You are a phenomenal friend, an incredible wife, and you are already such an amazing mom! Tackling twins for your first children is no short task and you have adapted to that role beautifully! Without a doubt, I know that you are a friend for life. I hope you know that I will always be here for you and I'm so proud to be your friend. Love you and can't wait to see you in a few weeks! Thank you.
8. Sam-I honestly don't know if anyone knows a more spontaneous, genuine, kind-hearted, spunky individual than you friend. Every single person I meet, I know would love you the way that I do. Your sense of adventure is unparalleled and I love how you don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Being your friend has truly been a gift and despite the distance I love that we always make time for each other. You are the type of person that people are truly lucky to know. Your light shines so bright and your positive energy just seeps out and improves everyone around you. I can't wait to take a trip together and just know you are making a difference. Wherever you go is a better place with you in it. Much love. Thank you.
9. Jade-It is truly remarkable when you can say you've been friends with someone for over 20 years. We have grown so much since those kindergarten years. Being friends with someone who knows almost your entire story is really awesome and whenever I need a reminder of my roots I know I can turn to you. I don't know if I've ever told you this, but my taste in music has/was influenced heavily by you and I'm so grateful for those many bus rides where we jammed out to your i-pod. I appreciate that we can still be our goofy, weird, random selves and when we're together it feels like absolutely no time has passed. You have one of the kindest souls and you work your ass off. I love that you're like me in the sense that we hate being handed things and are more satisfied when we've earned something the right way. Never change and stay golden Ponyboy! I love you like a sister and hope to visit soon! Thank you.
10. Morgan-I'm usually not an initiator, but one of the best things I've done is asking to sit next to you in Cornerstone that very first day at UNI. I have always been impressed by your organizational skills and you don't have a procrastination bone in your body! It is admirable how on-top of things you are and how you never settle. You epitomize the quote, "if it's worth being done, it's worth being done right." Your compassionate heart has led you into education and I couldn't think of a better profession for you. You have a sincere desire to make an impact on the world and I have no doubt in my mind that your students will leave your class a better person than they were when they came in. You are so disciplined and self-motivating that I find myself sometimes being envious of you ability to stay on track. Distance has not diluted our friendship at all and I am so blessed to have you in my life. I appreciate you always being there when I need you and I love you friend! Make sure Michel knows I say hi and miss him too! :) Thank you.

Deep breath everyone, or maybe I'm the only one that needs that. If you think I made it through any of that without absolutely being an emotional mess, I guess we don't know each other very well then. For those of you that guessed that the tears would start flowing at 1, you are 100% correct. If you guessed later than that, bless your soul for having faith, but I literally cried writing every single one of them.
While I did cry, they were not necessarily tears of sadness. I just feel things very deeply and this was a highly emotional experience. I do feel really great now though and to guarantee that the people I wrote this about will see it, I'm going to take a picture and send it to them. Tomorrow is never guaranteed reader and I don't think we take enough opportunities to say things like this to the people we care about.
Thank you for letting me pour out a lot of my heart today. Like I said earlier, 10 people is not nearly enough, so I will do another one of these kinds of posts in the future. I hope that after reading this you are somewhat intrigued about adding gratitude to your everyday lives, I believe we attract what we put out into the world, so if we put out positivity, we will have positivity come back to us. 
Much appreciation for you making it through another post reader. I have an additional challenge for you today. Not only do I want you to try and make someone smile today, I also want you to tell a least 3 people over the next week how you appreciate them. Go out and spread the love. Until next time.
-Jordan

HSP. Not quite sure what that means? Before today, I didn't either. I wasn't particularly seeking out this information either, but have you ever accidentally stumbled upon something that perfectly describes you?
The way I came about the term HSP was by typing hyper-empathetic into the Google machine. Why would one search hyper-empathy you might ask? Well let me ask you a few questions to help make you understand. When someone tells you a story, do you automatically understand their perspective and how they felt? Regardless of how many times you've seen a movie do you automatically cry at the sad parts because you can relate to what the characters are going through? When reading a book have you ever noticed your own emotional state being affected by the books plot. Do you find yourself being perceptively in-tune to the changes in your environment? Do you feel like your emotionally over-reactive to the things that go on around you? Have you ever been told you're overly emotional?
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions you too might be a HSP. Now if my vagueness hasn't driven you crazy to the point where you've already Googled HSP yourself, it stands for highly sensitive person.  No, this doesn't mean that we are a people who will burst into tears because you 'looked at us the wrong way," but we might come up with a million scenarios for why you might have done that (several of which probably involve us as the cause of the issue). 
Prior to tonight, I had never had any literature that describe certain aspects of my personality. I've come to conclusions and accepted quirks, but as with anything it is nice to have some actual scientific evidence behind my speculations. I even took the time to take a test just in case this was one of those situations where I got excited about something and jumped to conclusions. 
Reader, if you're concerned with how certain I am about something after only being knowledgeable about it for a couple of hours; 1. You're very justified in that opinion and 2. Left me share some facts with you about this personality type that I identify with.

1. Often has difficulty letting go of negative thoughts and emotions. For some reason this is extremely difficult for me. When I experience something negative it sticks with me. The only thing that saves me is time, distance, and distraction. I have had many a days ruined because I cannot refocus or alter my mindset from the bad experience.
2.  Frequently feels physical symptoms (i.e. stress or headache) when something unpleasant happens during the day. I have literally felt physically ill and nauseous after going through a stressful experience. It can be absolutely draining.
3. Often thinks/worries about what others are thinking. Regardless of how much I try not to let the opinion or actions of others affect me, there is always an internal dialogue in the back of my mind of how others think or perceive me.
   
4. Tend to take things personally. Holy smokes! If there is a statement I've heard once, I've heard it a thousand times. At times it is incredibly difficult to distance myself from things. I can understand and comprehend that there are circumstances which situations occur  that I have nothing to do with, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like something is my fault. Logic just simply does not prevail at these moments.
   
5. Often feels upset when watching or reading negative news in the media. Dislikes “shock” entertainment. The news is already so negative. I find it difficult to complete reading news stories about kidnappings, assaults, shootings, etc. I'm also not a fan of scary movies. The suspense kills me and I'm in a constant state of flinching. This isn't always the case though because one of my favorite TV shows is Criminal Minds...I don't get it either. Sometimes I feel like a walking conundrum. 
6. Often experiences tension or anxiety. When I get really stressed I feel a painful tightening of my neck and shoulder muscles. Anxiety on the other hand, I experience on a daily basis. It typically manifests in social settings, overthinking/analyzing situations, or when engaging in an activity where others can judge the quality of my work or effort (basically almost everything).
   
7. Often has bad days that affect eating and/or sleeping habits in an unhealthy way, such as eating or sleeping too much or too little. I experience insomnia at least once a week. Unfortunately I tend to be an emotional eater and justify it by saying it makes me feel better. Due to the fact that my constant ebb and flow of emotions is exhausting I also typically spend at least one day on the weekend just in a constant state of napping. This is a very unhealthy cycle and I do my best to fight it. Self-care is not a joke reader. Try to do it when you can. 
   
8. Often hides negative feelings, believing they are too strong, turbulent, embarrassing or vulnerable to share; keeps a lot of negative emotions inside. It is extremely difficult for me to be vulnerable. This blog in itself is a contradiction to how I typically handle expressing emotions. Granted there are very few people at this moment that know about this blog so it's not quite as revealing as it could be. I also feel like I don't want to be a burden to others by troubling them with my problems. I'm the type of person that will allow anyone to come to me with any problem they have no judgement and yet I can't seem to allow someone to reciprocate this courtesy for myself.
   
9. Often feels awkward in group situations and feels unable to be oneself. Again...this kind of depends on the situation. I consider myself to be fairly outgoing, quirky, odd, and awkward. If you get to know me well you see these in full force. However, in new social settings it depends on the read of the situation. If I'm being honest though, even in my closest group of friends there are times where I still feel like an outsider. I don't know why this is, but sometimes even thought I know that there is a mutual caring and respect there is just a dissonance I feel which makes me feel alone in a room full of people. 
   
10. Tends to “beat oneself up” when falling short of own expectations. If assumptions make an ass of you and me then expectations make you the bane of your own existence. I've already discussed expectations in a previous post so if you would like to revisit this discussion line feel free to scroll right on down and check it out. :)
    

Have I got you convinced yet? Do you relate? Are you wondering how the heck a person like me adequately functions daily with all of this stuff going on? Oh reader, it is an adventure for sure, but the highs outweigh the lows.
Well reader, I hope you kept an open mind and maybe learned something today. Knowledge is power and I hope that with what I gained from today can help me continue trying to live my best life. Knowing my downfalls and shortcomings is just the beginning to trying to conquer them. After all the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. 
Reader we come to another closing. As always thank you for your time. You are appreciated and don't forget to make someone smile today. :)
Until next time!
-Jordan