Stream of Consciousness

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone said something and it just kind of sparked this random thought train in your mind? You go around curves and bends of spontaneous words and random connections until you end up at a point where you regain the conversation and kind of have no idea how you got to that point? That my friends, is stream of consciousness. Throughout my life, I've found myself in situations where my stream of consciousness does not align with the individuals I'm interacting with and therefore confusion, hilarity, and just general awkwardness has ensued. 
Recently, I've learned of a journaling technique where for a period of time you write down everything that comes to your mind. This provides a unique experience where you actually track your own stream of consciousness. I found this idea highly intriguing and what better place to experiment than on a platform where I already share my thoughts. 
A few things before I start. Of course my typing speed cannot accurately keep up with my thoughts, but I will do my best! I will not be editing or censoring my thoughts so this is your fair warning that you may read something you didn't want to (if you are a grammar Nazi...you may just want to turn back now). Also, I do listen to music when I blog, so also forewarning that there may be a few random song lyrics thrown in there. I'm not sure the best way to record these thoughts, but I will try bullet points and see how ti goes. Ready for this ride? (I'm not sure I am!) 

• 90s country is the best country
• Tim McGraw aged well
• "Every  night be tucked in close to youuuuu
• Is sleeping in bed with another person for the rest of your life really enjoyable?
• do you ever get used to it? 
• Do you wish you had the bed to yourself?
• I have a specific way of sleeping, what if I find someone who isn't compatible with that?
• Hum hum hum hum hum hum hum hum
• Man the Steelers really kicked the Panthers ass
• This game was kind of sad...
• Like the Packers season...ugh I miss Jordy Nelson
• This ain't a scene its a God damn arms race!
• Singing*****
• Oh trivia crack notification! Lets play!
• It really builds anxiety in my chest that the questions are timed
• Is it sad that I feel like I get just as competitive over winning trivia crack as I would a softball or basketball game?
• I want to be smart! 
• I'm good at some categories and then others I just suck and then there are the questions where you read it wrong and the answer is obvious after you get it wrong...ugh that is so damn aggravating
• DAMNN IT BRADLEY WHY DID YOU PUT SPONGEBOB  SONGS ON OUR ITUNES ACCOUNT!
• Speaking of broseph, I wonder how hes doing
• He came to me with the sweetest smile...I am lost boy from Neverland
• Oh it's kind of chilly in my apartment...I need to clean. Like clean clean. Like the clean where you would do if your mother was visiting. 
• I need to pack...Why do I always wait until the night before to pack for trip destinations?
• I perform better under pressure sometimes
• Gotta watch my spending these next few days
• Why are IDs and drivers license different prices in different states
• there should be a universal price
• That guy was really amusing and nice though, great customer service!
• the world would be really much better if there were more people like that! I appreciate him
• Usually hanging out with Peter Pan...
• Sometimes I feel like a lost boy
• I feel like I'll never find a place that I can settle down and call home
• lots of anxiety over where I'm at in my life and the things I want to accomplish
• BRADLEY WHY WERE YOU OBSESSED WITH THE BLACK EYED PEAS
• they had some good songs, but that was not one of them
• next song reminds me of road trips with Allie
• Singing* You know I'd fight for you but how can I fight for someone who isn't even there
• CAUSE I WANT IT ALLLLL OR NOTHING AT ALLLL
  
• Was this song written about ghosting before it became a thing?
• I want it all, or nothing
• giving it all is such a frightening concept
• can you actually give someone your all?
• Song
• Thoughts scan through all past potential relationships...where did I go wrong
• Breathe
• things happen for a reason
• but what If I really did screw up and now I'll never be together
• The climax of this song is fantastic! 
• Snapchat! 
• of friend is doing a mask
• i liked my charcoal mask, I want to do that again
• it was so gross, sucked all the gunk from my pores and it was fantastic
• grossly satisfying and I am here for it
• Masks are the best! 
• oh damn the camera focused on my face real quick, I have such a large forehead...why is the filter focusing the eyebrows on my cheeks. that's the third time this week. Maybe I have a ghost. This post is going to be really long if I keep going with the dot list. I should switch to paragraph form. When do I start a new paragraph? Will this be more difficult to follow I want to see you again, but I'm stuck in Colder weather. It's been cold here...I don't know what I'm getting myself into with winter again. Should I sipped my tires. I have no idea if that is the right way to say that...I don't want to buy snow tires. Ugh winter. I miss fall already. I did not take proper advantage of winter. I wonder how many steps I got today. Holy jesus I need to be more active. damn meetings, I'm not even halfway to my goal.Oh goals...I really need better motivation. Why can't I motivate myself. Snapchat. Ugh I think I'm really funny sometimes I should have set a timer, how long am I supposed to go. I have to pee, but peeing is such a hassle when you're a girl! Penis envy. The only time I have it is when I pee. Wouldn't it just be nice to just whip it out and just go wherever whenever you need to. Also want to have the ability to write my name in the snow. THE STRUGGLE! Sometimes I feel like people use any excuse to flash their engagement rings....but she is my friend and I love her and am happy for her! still a little cynical. Or probably jealous...maybe both. I'm a horrible person. 
• damn it I really do have to pee. I should probably stop this. How much water did I drink today? Why do I have to pee so bad? 
• So baby give me that toot toot
• I'ts the freaking weekend baby I'm about to having some fun
• Ugh I hate when people don't respond...it makes me feel awkward and yet there is nothing I can do about it. Okay, I'm going to stop now,,.take a break and we will reconvene in 5

Okay reader, I'm back...that was quite an odd experience. I don't feel like I truly got out of that what I wanted to because I was having so many thoughts other than the ones that I was able to write down, but I don't type fast enough. I also feel like the rational part of my brain didn't always make this truly stream of consciousness because I had to select which thoughts to add (yet sometimes my fingers did just follow my immediate thoughts so some of the ones up there are truly just a reaction). Maybe This would be better if I recorded myself and just let the thoughts flow naturally. That way it is in real time and there is truly more genuine and in the moment. 
I'm having mixed emotions about this experiment of mine. I hope that on some level you either enjoyed it or related to it. Thanks for participating and getting this far. I promise to be more structured next time. Make sure you go out and make someone smile today! With all the chaos with the elections I'm sure there are several people who need it! Until next time reader. :)
​-Jordan